When God answered the prayer, you didn't pray

Recently, my church embarked on a 21-Day fast- a public dedication of a personal devotion to God. During fasting seasons like this one, we’re encouraged to write a prayer list. Not quite a yearly resolution, and certainly better than manifestation, it’s an intentional entrusting of the desires of our hearts to an ever-near Abba. 

It’s not wishful thinking.

It’s the activation of faith and power. 

Faith that God is more than able. 

Power to ask and believe that He will move. 

So, I did just that. I fasted. 

I’ll be honest- fasting is not my favorite biblical discipline. But this fast was different. I made a list of requests, then quickly revised it to be of God-sized magnitude.

Some were tangible. Some were spiritual. Some were concerning my family, my friends, and my church building. 

And then something happened.

God began pointing out impurities and faults I wasn’t praying about.

Almost immediately, as the Holy Spirit nudged my spirit, I became painfully aware of traits in me that weren’t so pleasant. And in that moment, my spiritually savvy and church-seasoned vocabulary couldn’t quite make sense of why He was doing this. 

I knew two things for certain:

1. This wasn’t my imagination.

2. I could easily justify every one of those traits.

When life has life-d you long enough, you develop a shell. At first, it protects you from old wounds. But eventually, that same shell keeps you from ever fully feeling again. Over time, it disguises itself as part of our identity- or worse, as something culturally acceptable.

Every part of me wanted to redirect the conversation back to the actual prayer list. Surely, Lord, that should be what we focus on. And yet, deep down, I knew we were already focusing on His purpose for my life. And the truth is, His purpose and my wants/needs aren’t always opposites-but they aren’t always aligned either. 

Throughout this fast, He showed me that item #251 on my list might actually be His top priority -and the very stepping stone required for my #1 prayer. 

Sometimes, the Lord works on what we consider minor or trivial issues to prepare us for what we’ve been asking Him to believe. For example, you may feel a strong call to defend the Gospel on public platforms. That’s honorable. But if you step into those spaces carrying unresolved anger, you’ll do the kingdom a disservice.

God doesn’t pour fresh anointing into an impure vessel. He doesn’t operate like the world. The world tells us to patch ourselves up, power through the pain, and hustle our way to the goal- boss babe energy. Heaven’s modus operandi is different. It calls us to acknowledge our brokenness and recognize our full dependency on the Potter.

So let me ask you- do you intend to go through 2026 learning lessons the hard way? A 40-year journey or a three-day victory?

The issue isn’t that you are unequipped or unsent. Yet, somewhere along the way, you made yourself god by believing you could carry the mission on your own strength.

This fast taught me that I’ve been asking the wrong questions.

Not: What have I done wrong, Lord?

But: What have I allowed to pollute my vessel?

Not: Why did You let this happen to me?

But: Which door did I leave open for the enemy? 

Not: Why has it been so hard?

But: What are you trying to teach me, Lord?

Not: How much longer?

But: Would you teach me obedience?

As we move through this year, let’s be intentional- not just in our asking, but in heeding His counsel. Let’s change what is in our power to change. Small beginnings. No expectations (And no, the world does not owe you a response because you decided to grow.)

Be kind to that coworker.

Lower your defenses and apologize for your reaction.

Step away from gossip.

Don’t quiver in your boots when people recognize you as ‘the holy one’.

Do your job as unto the Lord, even when you’re overlooked or mistreated.

Trust me, I do not like it either. 

Correction is not sweet, but its reward is lasting. I lean towards the 3-day journey.

Trust in Him.